Since Monday

I've been tracking my foods that I eat & trying to stay under a certain number of calories shooting for weight loss, taking into account that I'm breastfeeding right now.

I've been doing quite well, minus lunch yesterday when I was convinced the horrible headache I'd had since Tuesday was "diet" related. (So I ate a "big" lunch of leftover beef & noodles & my headache went away...huh.)

Anyway, it was cold and snowing this morning, the kids are all snotty, and I *really* wanted to make cookies. And eat them.

Oh and I also discovered a "friction" hole in the crotch of my ONLY pair of blue jeans. My Tommy Hilfiger jeans. The size up Tommy jeans I bought just after Aaron was born to replace the ones I wore a friction hole in the crotch of two years ago. (I now have just 2 pairs of pants that are non-maternity and non-yoga-type. This is not good, people.)

You know what the friction hole means? It means for the past 2+ years my non-pregnant self has been slowly creeping up on the scale. My thighs are wearing holes in blue jean material, --not delicate, thin material! Denim!--, just from rubbing together while I walk. Really. This is not good. Not good. It was gradual so not very "painfully" obvious. I knew it was happening, but with everything else going on around here it is hard to put myself first. Much easier to eat a lot and make comfort food when I'm perpetually exhausted from sleeping in 4-hour-or-less intervals at night for the past 4 years.

Oh the excuses!

Instead of making cookies, I got everyone dressed, weighed myself & found a 3/4 pound weight loss, and went to Sam's club to buy the things on our list... mostly just to get out of the house so we wouldn't eat all morning...

It worked. My desire to make cookies has waned and I'm still good on my calories.

When you're addicted to food, every day is a battle. I'm taking it one day at a time.

Someone* tweeted yesterday:

Being overweight hurts. Being on a diet hurts. Choose your hurt. 


*I apologize I don't remember who...


GOSH, I WANT SOME BACON. AND BROWNIES.