A Morning in This Life

Last week the mom of one of Ian's classmates told me that if she could ever help me to let her know. It was a kind offer. It is a good thing it was also a genuine offer. Today I took her up on it... (and she probably regrets having made the offer!)

Let me just run you through our morning.

6:55- Roger left for work. It woke Ian, who proceeded to wake Aaron. So we were up before the alarm.
7:05- I realized it snowed overnight & after checking, find Ian's school delayed to 10am start. Normally not a big deal, but today Aaron had his ENT post-op check-up, so now I'm going to have to take 3 kids to the doctor's office.
7:15 I remember that Ian's soccer starts today and is supposed to be from 11:30-12:15. Call Savannah's mom to find out what they're doing about soccer...she calls me back to tell me it is from 12:00-12:45.
8:45 Get everyone's coats, shoes, backpacks, etc. and buckle kids into car.
8:55 Turn van key. It doesn't start. Oh Crap. not today, Lord!!!

• call Roger to alert him of the situation and ask him to call ENT to cancel/reschedule since we're going to be late at the very best
• call AAA
• call Savannah's mom to ask if she can take Ian to school, since he is a puddle of tears on the garage floor over missing school & soccer.
• call mechanic to tell him we'll be stopping by (he's my friend's dad so he takes good care of us & knows we have 3 little ones & don't like to be without a vehicle...)
• call my dad/mom to gripe.
• call sister to gripe
• get phone call from AAA telling me they are "delayed"

9:50 Send Ian off with Savannah for the very first time ever with someone other than me, Roger, or Papa... (Savannah's mom did call me when she got home to tell me he was fine at school.)

10:30 Still waiting on AAA.

11:00 Still waiting on AAA.

11:15 AAA finally rolls up and determines our brand new in October battery is deader than a doornail. He jumps us & recommends I don't turn the van off again until I'm at the mechanic.

11:30 Arrive at mechanic... he had already ordered the new battery & we were waiting for the supply store to deliver it. In the meantime he took the old battery out... and the clock ticks on... 

12:10 I remind him I have to pick Ian up from school at 12:45. He reassures me that the battery is on its way. And the clock ticks on.

12:25 I call Savannah's mom and ask her to make sure Ian is safe & accounted for because I'm literally a hostage at the mechanic (with Aaron...thank God for iPhone games and Lauren...thank God for boobs.) and won't be able to make it back to pick Ian up. The shop is at least 15 min from school.

12:30 The battery arrives & is installed. 

12:35 I take off down the road to get Ian.

1:10 We finally arrive home for a very late lunch.

Total drama. Thank Goodness for Savannah's mom. My head hurts. Why did we need another new battery? Why did it happen today with all the crap that was already going on and not tomorrow (or yesterday) when I had no place we had to be? I should also mention that Savannah's brother Dylan got sick at school today & Michelle had to go pick him up. While she was still looking after Ian. So she had to drag two 3.5 year olds in with her to pick up her son from the nurse's office. Total insanity. 

*sigh* 

It is seriously never a dull moment around here. 

Our Me-Me-Me Society

I saw another example of our me-me-me society today at Ian's preschool registration.

Here are the details the school gave us regarding the registration process:

1. Registration is at 9:15 on February 1, 2011. You can arrive at 8:50 to take your child to his classroom before reporting to the fellowship hall. You must take your child to his class before you come to registration.

There was a 2 hour delay in the local public school district today so that meant preschool had a 10am start. I called to find out if registration was also delayed by an hour and it was. So that would only change the instructions above by saying "registration begins at 10:15, you can come at 9:50 to drop your child off."

But here's what actually went down:

We arrived at 9:45 (because we try to be a couple minutes early to everything.) When we walked in the fellowship hall, it was already packed with people. When we got our "number" for the "up" system, it was ELEVEN. There were 3 different age classes to sign up for so we were number 11 in our group. There were probably 25 kids in line ahead of us.

What makes me mad is this:

When the crap did they show up? And why were they given numbers before 9:50? If it says come at 9:50 and that registration doesn't actually start until 10:15, why were the people who got there at 9:30 given numbers? That's not fair. No numbers should've been handed out before 9:50, in my opinion. What's stopping people, eager to secure their child's spot in the limited class space, from arriving an hour early? Two hours? How important is it to you?!

There were only 14 spots in the class Ian was registering for and we arrived at the time when the numbers were supposed to be given out, but we got number 11. What if we had come on time for registration and been handed number 15? That's the waiting list. I totally get "first come first served." But not when I could easily have come much earlier too.

I didn't go any earlier because the rules specifically said don't come until 9:50. So I didn't. And because I was playing by the rules I almost missed out! The numbers for Ian's class were called all the way up to 19, and none of those parents arrived after the start of registration. None of them. One dad was rather upset, saying, "So my daughter has come here for 2 years already and now she's wait-listed for her last year because I didn't come an hour early? That's ridiculous."

I have to agree.

To me it is just another example of this sad place we live where hardly anybody plays by the rules anymore, especially when it involves their kid and getting a "good" space for them for school. I mean, how far are you really willing to go? How many rules are you willing to "bend?" How many times are you going to teach your children, by example, that bending rules and pushing others to the side just to get yourself ahead is ok?

And I wrote this even though Ian got his spot and he's all signed up for next year. What if he hadn't?

20 favorite things

Suggested blog post... so here it is!

20 of my favorite things:

I'm intentionally leaving out my kids, my family, etc. Those are really obvious so I'm skipping them in the name of revealing more!

1. Homemade bread. (Probably obvious to anyone who is paying attention... I'm not sure if there are very many food things that are better than a slice of homemade bread with jam on it.)
2. Strawberry Jam. It has to be homemade.
3. Nature walks. As we call them in our little family, I love to put on my tennis shoes and get walking in the outdoors. As long and as far as possible.
4. History.
5. French Pastries and Parisian Bistro food. (I haven't really ever met a French pastry I didn't like, but my favorite is Tarte Framboise...raspberry tarte. I think my favorite Bistro food is just plain old poulet (baked chicken) with pomme frites (fries).
6. Disney World.
7. Slide-on New Balance shoes. They're tennis shoes, they're slip on... what could be better?
8. Buffalo Chicken. Wings, Tenders, Breast Sandwich...delish.
9. Water. Better than any other beverage. Great for bathing, swimming, keeping plants alive. I'm not too keen on it in the form of snow, but water is my favorite drink and I love swimming!
10. Goat Milk Soap.
11. Steak. Nothing better than a big, delicious steak on my plate with a baked potato (just butter).
12. Ohiopyle State Park. It combines several of my favorite things: nature, nature walks, water, small towns. Just a great place to visit in the summer & fall.
13. Small towns. I love quaint towns with a little main street that has shops and a wide sidewalk.
14. Wide open space. If I could live out in the country and still be close to the city somehow, I would. I love great big yards and maybe even some cows, fresh country breezes blowing across my face... ahh.
15. Capri Pants.
16. McGinnis Sisters' food market.
17. Pink. The color. And purple too.
18. Lilacs. My favorite flower by far.
19. Summer fruit season- strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, peaches, apples. Yum.
20. Pumpkin.

Just call me Mrs. Fix-it

This morning, first thing, I went down and started the load of Lauren's diapers that had been soaking over night. When it was done, I returned to the laundry room to run a second rinse cycle and noticed the mop sink wasn't fully empty from the first cycle, but it was going down so I kept moving.

We were late leaving for a playdate. Ian's ridiculous behavior delayed our departure from the house by thirty-five minutes this morning. Every single delay tactic he could muster. I finally got the kids all into the van & ran back to hang up diapers...I stepped into the laundry room onto the rug in front of the washer and promptly soaked my socks.

F.L.O.O.D.

Our washer drains into our mop sink. Personally I think that's kinda dumb, but whatever. Something was keeping the water from draining out of the mop sink and it overflowed. It does that occasionally. usually when someone mistakenly leaves a rag or something in it and the drain gets blocked. I try to stay upbeat about it because, hey, our laundry room floor gets washed...with soap!

But this morning I just saw doom and gloom. I noticed recently that our sink drains have been running slow too. And then the flood in the laundry room. The last time this happened our entire garage backed up with sewer water & we had to have Roto Rooter come after my handyman dad came and cut a piece out of our pipe. It was a major mess & hassle. That was 5 years ago. Enough time for the tree roots to grow back, right? Crap.

I'd also noticed our town's water/sewer authority "Ram-Jet" truck has been running up and down the road all week. So maybe the problem was actually with the street/town instead of us. Roger called them. They came and checked. All was clear on their end. Dang.

Before we tried chemicals (I don't really like using them) or calling a plumber or something, I decided to try the plunger on the mop sink on last time. Gave it a really good plunging. I think I was taking the day's frustrations out on it. I was praying while I was plunging. I was just about to get the Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (a "plugged sink" remedy my mom has used forever) and woosh! The water rushed down the drain & I could no longer keep any water in the sink!

Clear!

Praise God!

Why am I blogging about my clogged sink?

A long time ago I came across a quote (of Mason Cooley) that says, "Faith moves mountains, but you have to keep pushing while you're praying."

I love that quote. I kept a piece of paper I scrawled that quote on taped to my computer monitor all through college.

Today, I'm thinking, "You have to keep plunging while you're praying!" 

Sunday Sweetheart & Trumpette Socks

We might not get anymore sunshine before Lauren turns 6 months old, so these might just turn into her 6 month photos. (I hope not. Not that I don't like them, but I really hope we have another sunny day before next weekend...)

We took these photos of Lauren wearing her Trumpette socks from her Great Aunt Sam.  There's a contest going on Trumpette's Facebook for the most "likes" or comments on a fan photo... so if you want to help Lauren win, you can go to her photo and like it (or comment.)

While we're talking about Trumpette socks, let me just go ahead and say that I love them and if I wasn't so cheap Lauren would have a whole bunch of different kinds of them. She's growing out of her 0-6 month size Trumpette socks and I'm so sad about it!  *sigh*  We've worn the dickens out of the pairs she got from Great Aunt Sam!  PERFECT for dressing up her feet without wearing shoes.  We're in the "don't wear shoes unless you have to camp.

So without further rambling, here's dear Lauren in her cutie-patootie socks. (and Carter's outfit from Grandma Spaceship.) Roger took these photos...if you notice, I'm in the background making sure she didn't lose her balance and crack her noodle on the floor. She's getting really good at sitting, but she's not 100% yet. Roger's a much better photographer than I am. He taught himself before he had kids, unlike me who didn't decide to learn to use the camera until I was juggling all these tots and the camera.

Winter. I loathe it.

I used to love winter. I loved winter sports. I loved shoveling (to the point that I would shovel the neighbors' sidewalks when we lived in Erie just to be nice.) I loved being out in the chilly air. I loved winter. I didn't even mind driving on awful roads. It was just life in the snow belt. You either learned to love it or you were in misery for 4 months each year. So I loved it.

Then I had kids.

5 years ago, when I wanted to go outside (or in the car) during winter, I just threw on a coat & went. Now?

Multiply the following process by 4 (to include me):

Get up, wash, dress, eat breakfast.
Put on socks & boots.
Buckle into car seat.
Arrive at destination.
Stand out in the elements while I:

Put on coat.

Put on hat.

Put on mittens. (can't wear a heavy coat under car seat buckles...)

Hoist children from van because heavy, puffy coat renders their movements unproductive.

Drop something into dirty, nasty slush in parking lot.

Get salt/dirt all over my pants/coat trying to hold a child's hand with each hand all while wearing a baby.

Slosh through dirty slush into building while repeatedly telling children to hurry and they won't be cold once we get inside.

Remove coat, hat, mittens so as not to overheat and sweat while indoors.

Try not to lose any of the coats/hats/mittens while inside.

Repeat entire process to go home.

Clean salt & dirt from floor inside door repeatedly.

Hang coats/hats/mittens to dry so we can use them again in an hour.

See if cell phone I dropped in slush is still working. 

Etc. Etc. Etc.

And you don't just do that once a day, you have to do it lots of times. And day after day after day. It's exhausting.

Winter is just plain old crappy. 

I need some sun and warm to recharge my batteries.

Since Monday

I've been tracking my foods that I eat & trying to stay under a certain number of calories shooting for weight loss, taking into account that I'm breastfeeding right now.

I've been doing quite well, minus lunch yesterday when I was convinced the horrible headache I'd had since Tuesday was "diet" related. (So I ate a "big" lunch of leftover beef & noodles & my headache went away...huh.)

Anyway, it was cold and snowing this morning, the kids are all snotty, and I *really* wanted to make cookies. And eat them.

Oh and I also discovered a "friction" hole in the crotch of my ONLY pair of blue jeans. My Tommy Hilfiger jeans. The size up Tommy jeans I bought just after Aaron was born to replace the ones I wore a friction hole in the crotch of two years ago. (I now have just 2 pairs of pants that are non-maternity and non-yoga-type. This is not good, people.)

You know what the friction hole means? It means for the past 2+ years my non-pregnant self has been slowly creeping up on the scale. My thighs are wearing holes in blue jean material, --not delicate, thin material! Denim!--, just from rubbing together while I walk. Really. This is not good. Not good. It was gradual so not very "painfully" obvious. I knew it was happening, but with everything else going on around here it is hard to put myself first. Much easier to eat a lot and make comfort food when I'm perpetually exhausted from sleeping in 4-hour-or-less intervals at night for the past 4 years.

Oh the excuses!

Instead of making cookies, I got everyone dressed, weighed myself & found a 3/4 pound weight loss, and went to Sam's club to buy the things on our list... mostly just to get out of the house so we wouldn't eat all morning...

It worked. My desire to make cookies has waned and I'm still good on my calories.

When you're addicted to food, every day is a battle. I'm taking it one day at a time.

Someone* tweeted yesterday:

Being overweight hurts. Being on a diet hurts. Choose your hurt. 


*I apologize I don't remember who...


GOSH, I WANT SOME BACON. AND BROWNIES.

Did I mention?

I'm going to try and blog every day of 2011?  I already missed the first 2 days so I guess we wait and see how well I do. I had 140 posts in 2010. Shall we just shoot for 200 this year? I think you'll be awfully sick of me if I do 363...

Some things I've been thinking about lately:

A friend I've known for a long time... back to junior high school at least had something tragic happen over the holiday & while I don't know exactly what it was (nor do I feel like I should know) I have been thinking of her and praying for her.

My daughter is going to be 6 months old in January. My husband is going to be 31 on 1/11/11. This is the year I turn 30. My sons are going to be 4 and 3 this year. Insanity.

I probably won't actively wean Lauren, but I think by the end of 2011 I neither be pregnant nor breastfeeding a baby for the first time since 2006. I'm kinda looking forward to it!

Last year I knew 25 (at least) ladies having babies. This year so far, there are 5 ladies in our friends and family who are expecting, the first of those babies due to arrive in February.

I have resolved to eat better, keep a log of everything that goes in my mouth, and hope for weight loss! My pants are tight and I'm ready. My plan is just to log what I eat (keeping myself accountable just by being able to see on paper what goes down the hatch) and do what I do until the weather gets warm enough to get out with the tots and put some miles on the jogging stroller. Then it is time to rock and roll... Mondays & Fridays I'll have the boys in the BoB and Lauren in the Ergo. Tuesdays & Thursdays I'll have Lauren & Aaron in the stroller and Wednesdays I'll have to figure out what to do with just Lauren. Oh that's just until school is out in May, then I have to re-plan.

I have resolved to enjoy my kids more. To be slower to anger. To just take each moment and savor it. To not watch the clock, willing it to move faster to nap & bed times. To just smile, laugh, and be a champion of positive experiences with my children.  (For the record, I'm already pretty good a this, but my trouble times are in the morning when we're getting ready to leave and when I don't feel well.)

A post without a photo. I'm sorry!

Self Portrait & Baby Carriers

I got a Moby Wrap from my girlfriends when Aaron was teeny.  I love it.  Best. Carrier. Ever.  You might also see me in a Maya Ring Sling, an Ergo Carrier, a Peanut Shell, Patapum, or even the Evenflo Hiking Backpack.  They all serve very specific purposes in my mothering and child wearing.  But I'll never tell you otherwise, the Moby is my favorite of all of them.

**Just so you know, I only paid full price for one of these! The rest were either gifts or hand-me-downs.  That's part of the beauty of baby carriers... they are good for multiple babies and/or sharing!

Someone Asked *ME* for Sleep Advice

LOL LOL.

First of all, to think that someone would ask ME for advice on toddler sleep makes me both smile and roll my eyes. (to myself)  If she ONLY knew.

Obviously she doesn't know me well and totally missed my first two babies' sleep issues.  So what she sees is me, with my newborn in the moby wrap, my two well-rested sons playing on the playground, using good manners, etc.  And then she hears my 3 year old come and ask to go home because he is tired.  Then she hears me say that we have to go as soon as Lauren is done nursing so we can get home to have lunch and take naps.

She turns and says, "How on earth do you get them all to take naps?!"

So I gave her the short answer about the same routine every day.  (We get up, eat, play, go out of the house for errands or to play, come home, eat lunch, have milk and tv time, go read a story in the bedroom and lay down for naps.)  And that was not satisfactory.

She wanted the full Monty about how I got them to sleep while they were still toddlers that nursed.  How did I get them to sleep all night?  To go to sleep on their own?  To let someone other than me put them to bed?  To *gasp* have my husband attend to them at night.

And I had to admit that I had to sleep train them using the graduated extinction method of Cry It Out.

As usual, I was expecting a disgusted, annoyed look on her face.  Why? Because even though most moms I know have had to let their babies cry about sleep, it still seems to have a bit of a stigma.  I know, back in my just-Ian-days, I used to think moms who practiced CIO were torturing their children.  ("Wasn't there another way?!")

Instead of the disgusted look, she smiled and said, "and it worked?" 

I said, "And it worked.  And continues to work.  And now both of my young boys go to sleep on their own and sleep all night long.  They both lay down in their beds for their naps and most always take a 2 hour nap."

Unsatisfied, she pressed me harder about HOW I did it. 

And why I thought it worked...

So I told her that as my children get older and I get more seasoned as a mother, I've come to think that hardly any children just simply lay down and go to sleep without being taught how to do it.  I waited so long with Ian because I didn't want him to cry about it that I regretted it when we finally did it...regretted that we didn't do it sooner. Remember?  We tried EVERYTHING to get Ian to sleep without crying about it.

With Aaron I waited and waited because he was sick so much I didn't want another ounce of crying or hard times for him.  (Read about Aaron's CIO here and here)

I'm sure I'll wait with Lauren for one reason or another.

But ultimately, I know it is coming this time and I've accepted that the graduated extinction method of crying it out is not torture.  It doesn't mean you don't love your child.  It doesn't mean their cries don't rip you to shreds when you hear them.  It doesn't mean you have given up on tender love and care.  It means you need sleep and you're willing to endure a few hard nights to get it.  It means you have decided that sleeping better is better for everyone in the house and that you know there are better nights ahead.

She just looked at me as I was going on and on... justifying it.  I don't know why I feel I have to justify it.  I guess because I still know how I felt before I had experienced the sleepless nights and exhausted days and the process of sleep training and the success.

So why am I still justifying it?  Just in case someone reads this who needs to hear it is ok to let your baby cry a little bit when the goal is better sleep for everyone.

The McDonald's Happy Meal

***WARNING! You might get offended by this post. I really go off about parenting and forming children's eating habits.***


CSPI Threatens Suit over Happy Meal Toys

What do you think?

As I said publicly a little bit ago, I believe it is NOT McDonald's fault that kids are "getting fat" from eating Happy Meals. Yes, of course the food could be healthier in the Happy Meals and yes, McNuggets could have just chicken and breading instead of 45 ingredients (eew... it's true, though, Google it.), but is it seriously McDonald's fault that our kids are eating it so much?

Nobody really seems to care that Disney does the same damn thing with their marketing and when you go to Disney World, look at the kids meals! They are pizza, nuggets, hot dogs, with fries (or apples/carrots), pop to drink, etc. If you looked at the ingredients in the meals, I'm sure it isn't any better than McD's. Oh then there's the special desserts that sometimes come with sit-down restaurant meals, the "bottomless" fries at Red Robin (and the balloons, and the *gasp* ROBIN). Other fast food restaurants have toys too... How is it any different?

I think it is nearly 100% the parents' fault their child is eating McDonalds "too much" or "so much" that it is negatively affecting the child's diet. I mean, you CAN go ahead and drive past. Your child might cry. Your child might scream at you and throw a huge friggin' tantrum, kicking the back of your seat and making your ear drums bleed. Oh well. By the time you get home and cook him some real dinner, he'll probably be over his tantrum... and maybe he'll have even worked up a real appetite for something delicious, nutritious, and homemade.

I'll never lie to you about Team V eating at McDonald's. We do. I do buy Happy Meals for my kids... occasionally.

I mean, maybe twice a month? Maybe once a week in the winter time when we go to the indoor playground just to get out of the house and make some friends? And if you count the indoor playgrounds at Burger King and Chick Fil-A, we eat at fast food places about 3 times a month. If we're traveling, maybe a little more than that.

Fast food is convenient and for the most part, it tastes good. Of course the kids love it. (Except... they don't love it. Unless my boys are starving, they eat way better at home than they do at fast food places...)

Why do we go then... other than the playground?

They love the toy in the Happy Meal. It's almost always a really cute something-or-other from a movie that they've seen or have seen commercials for and they play with those stinkin' toys endlessly!

They eat the food because it is there and I say they can't open the toy or play in the playground until they have eaten it. If it was up to them, they would play/open the toy and leave the food to rot in the little cardboard carton. Because I don't want to "waste my money" I tell them THEY HAVE TO EAT IT.

So whose fault is it? Is it McDonald's fault? Is it MY fault? Could I avoid the entire situation just by not going there? Of course I could! And would my children know any different if we didn't go there? Of course not! Would they continue to ask me to stop at "Donnie's" on our way past? Probably... Would they eventually stop having tantrums about me not stopping? I think so. Would I save money in the long run by cooking our meals at home and buying the occasional toy from toy aisle at the store? I bet!

In our lives, McDonald's Happy Meals are special treats that we occasionally get. Ian would never ask for dinner at McDonald's. That's just not how we do things around here. And if you asked him, "hey Ian, what's for lunch?" He'd tell you: soup, a sandwich, or perhaps a hot dog... and in saying it, he'd mean "at home" not "out." McDonald's is only on his mind if we happen to be passing one, or if I bring it up.

I like it that way.

I'm going to be really pissed if they take the toys out of the Happy Meals. I think that's un-American.

So now, after I re-read this, I realize I didn't really address the "real problem" that is pushing this lawsuit. The perceived problem of kids eating too much McDonald's and forming bad eating habits because of it. I still don't think it's the Happy Meal Toy's fault! How can it be? If your child is eating at McDonald's meals every day or several times a week or enough that they are getting fat from it, you need to reexamine what is really going on in your life!

Are you balancing your child's "junk food" intake with exercise opportunities? More importantly, are you feeding them chicken nuggets at home because that is all they will eat without having a tantrum? Do your children eat so many snacks that they're not hungry for the dinner you cooked? Do you cook "fast food" meals at home because that is all you think you have time for?

Did you know that it can take up to 70 times of introducing a food to your child before he will even taste it? Did you realize that means that you have to introduce new foods to your children in order for them to have an expanded palate? If you only feed your children McNuggets because "that is all they will eat" you are missing the boat on feeding your children.

I know, I've only been a mom for 3 years, and perhaps I've had it easy with my kids and their eating, but maybe it's because we've never allowed our children to "get away" with only eating the "good stuff" on their plates and leaving behind the veggies, fruits, meats, etc. (PS- I'm a total hypocrite. I'm an incredibly picky eater and my children definitely eat a more balanced diet than I do. Should I blame my parents?) I also know that there are just some things that some kids won't eat. It happens. Keep trying. Aside from potty training, it's probably the most frustrating thing that parents deal with...


Anyway, back to McDonald's Happy Meal toys...

It says in the article I posted up above:

McDonald's does use the healthier Apple Dippers in its advertising, the CSPI attorney acknowledged but once the customer actually gets to McDonald's, the apple side is almost always replaced--by default--with nutritionally inferior fries, unless the customer specifically asks for it. It's rarely, if ever, offered at the counter, he said.

Anyway, Apple Dippers are only relatively healthier, Cronin added, and send kids a mixed message: apples are only good if they're paired up with sugary caramel. Ultimately, he said, "They're forming really bad eating habits. Their healthiest meal still isn't good for you."

I think that places the blame SQUARELY on the parents, not on the Happy Meal, right? You know they have apples, so order them. And do like I do...take the caramel sauce out before you hand over the meal and toss it right in the garbage. Ian doesn't even know there IS caramel sauce for dipping. You're letting your child form a really bad eating habit. Just because McDonald's isn't stopping you doesn't mean they are to blame for your kid eating the caramel sauce!

I guess we could look at it this way... if you go and order the healthiest one (which I am assuming is a Hamburger, Apple Dippers, and White Milk, but I don't know that for sure) at least you're introducing your child to APPLES and you are getting them to drink white milk and you can use the toy as a bribe! If there isn't a toy anymore... you can't even do that.

If you made it this far, thanks for sticking it out... and sorry if I offended you. Sometimes it really is our fault, though, and we need own it. And try to change.

Stress Incontinence, not a "Pretty" subject for today.

Hi family & friends!

I'm just popping on here to ask for you to say a little prayer for me, Ian, and Aaron. Mostly for me, as Ian & Aaron are not as "bad" as I am. (Boy, isn't that the truth, in so many ways...)

It's been about 2 weeks since we started with what I originally thought was allergies... and then it turned into a cold. Just a normal cold, it seemed, until the "traditional" 7-10 days for a virus was coming to a close with no end in the symptoms...

I've literally been suffering with both a head and chest cold for 2 weeks now. And the coughing part is REALLY bad. I don't normally get too deep in the "yucky" stuff on here, but people... I need you to know.

When you've been pregnant for 28 of the last 48 months, given birth to 2 babies and have a 4.5 pound baby pushing down on your bladder, controlling accidental urine escapes is difficult. It's called stress incontinence and it is NO fun. If you've had a baby, you know what I'm talking about. Towards the end of pregnancy, a little cough or sneeze or laughter and, well, you're running to the potty and most likely changing your underpants. If you're lucky, it didn't seep all the way to your pants-pants and you can continue on your day, but if you're not-so-lucky, you're changing the whole outfit. It sucks. Just one of "those" pregnancy things that most ladies prefer not to talk about and it doesn't stop when you've had your baby. You have to work at getting full control back and sometimes you don't! And sometimes... you get pregnant again and start all over.

And then sometimes, you're pregnant for the third time in 3 years and you get a really bad cold. When that happens, forget about it.

Just put a towel on your chair and plan on changing your pants and underwear many times. It's worst at night, when you're laying down and a coughing fit attacks you... there's no stopping it.

It's really frustrating. And it makes you feel really gross. Since your nose is stuffed up, you walk around wondering if you smell like pee. Wearing pantyliners is not a fix, those things don't have any authority against the coughing-fit-induced-pee. In fact, wearing a regular pad doesn't either. You'll probably try depends or poise pads or something, in hopes of not having to change your pants 20 times a day and end up with 6 extra loads of laundry only to find that they are both very uncomfortable and unable to control the problem anyway.

All I have to say is, this baby girl pushing on my bladder better be really stinkin' cute. (Just kidding, of course, I'd love her even if she wasn't.) And if this is the "new normal" for the next 6 weeks and 6 days, I'm toast.

So anyway, please pray for me. Please pray that this cough goes away today. I've been coughing all week and it does seem to be improving, but the peeing-while-coughing is only getting worse.

Also, just so this post isn't entirely about me... Ian and Aaron are both coughing too. They're not as bad as me... and as far as I know, they're not peeing when they cough. Of course they could be, because they wear diapers anyway and I wouldn't know. I'm taking them to the doctor today to make sure THEY don't have pneumonia or sinus infections or ear infections. I've been on amoxicillin since Wednesday. It's about time for us to be over this.

*sigh*



PS- If you were laughing at this post, that's fine. I meant for it to be entertaining. Laughing, although it makes me pee my pants, is a good way to keep myself from screaming into a pillow. That would be bad too, because screaming would probably make me cough, and then... well, you know.


***UPDATE***

Back from the doctor... both have Ear infections and "probable" sinus infections. Both are now on antibiotics. Awesome.

Can I Rant for Like 5 Seconds?

If you're one of "those" parents that I'm about to rant about, you'll probably get mad at what I'm about to say. I guess I don't care because if you are one of those parents, you need a little tough love right now.

Today after picking up Ian from his last day of school for the summer, I heard a little girl pitching a huge fit in the parking lot. It caught my attention because tantrums, no matter who is throwing them, usually do. I looked up and noticed a dad a couple spaces away having an epic battle with his 3 year old daughter. (How do I know she is 3? Because the only people at school today were 3 year olds.) I have never seen him before, although I have seen the girl in Ian's class. I quickly decided she was not being kidnapped because while she was screaming she was also calling him daddy and yelling about "my seat." It was an obvious parent-child battle over getting in the car seat.

After strapping both of my own children in their seats, I thought about going to ask if I could help in any way (he had a younger boy with him too), but I decided to mind my own business and hope for the best for that poor dad. I hopped in my seat, put the key in the ignition and looked out the front window.

And I saw him push her into the back seat of the car, slam the door, hop into HIS seat, and drive away!

He looked my way as he was driving out and shrugged his shoulders at me. My mouth was hanging open. I'm sure it was pretty obvious I was aghast at what he was doing. I'm sure he didn't really care what I thought. I sure hope they got home ok.

And this is where my RANT begins. (I know, begins? I thought I said I was only going to rant for 5 seconds...)

Dear Dad of the Screaming Preschooler,

YOU ARE THE DAD. YOU ARE IN CHARGE. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR CHILD'S SAFTEY. YOU CANNOT LET A TANTRUM GET IN THE WAY OF STRAPPING YOUR CHILD INTO HER CAR SEAT! You just let her win. You just gave her ALL the ammunition she needs for the NEXT epic battle that ensues between parent and child. You just broke the law. You just taught her it was ok to ride in the car without being in a car seat. You just did something REALLY bad.

I know, I know, 20 years ago they hardly even had car seats and kids weren't required by law to be in a car seat while riding in the car. But times have changed, my friend, and for a reason.

So next time, please, grow a backbone and put your 3 year old in her damn car seat. Push her in, hold her down with your elbow while you buckle the straps. Use a little force. You are a 180 lb grown man, she is a 30 pound child. You have the strength and ability to out-muscle her. So what if she is yelling! Kids yell! They scream and they scratch and try to bite, and kick their little legs. Yep, you might get kicked in the face, but you know what? Riding in the car seat is non-negotiable and it is a battle YOU must win.

I'm big on picking my battles. I believe there are many instances where it makes more sense to pick my battle and redirect instead of give a time-out or a spank. I'd never argue with you on that point. It's part of parenting.

Riding in a car seat is a battle I will (and do regularly) fight every time. Why? Because when it comes to the safety of my beloved children, I am NEVER going to let them win and put themselves into danger. I really do not care if I have to break a sweat in the 90 degree parking lot while getting kicked and punched while other parents are watching my child go demonic on me over getting in the car seat. He will ride strapped safely in, he will stop screaming eventually, he will not win that battle.

That is all.

I hope that anyone who reads this isn't one of "those" parents. And if you are and you're mad at me now because I called you out on that terrible decision, I hope you think about me next time you have to force your child into her car seat and then, after thinking about me, I hope you just take the bull by the horns and get 'er done.

Bedtime Battles

About 2 weeks ago, Aaron decided that he was no longer going happily to bed and no longer going to sleep in his bed at night. He wants to be held. All. Night. Long. Being that I am 24 weeks pregnant, with two active young boys, and that Roger works out of the house every day, there's just no way that we can hold Aaron all night long, even if we want to.

With aching hearts (and heads, and backs) we decided it was time for Aaron to sleep train. Now, before you go off all half-cocked about sleep training, or Ferberizing, or Cry-it-Out... just know that in our 3 years of parenting terrible sleepers we have already tried (ha ha I just typo-ed "tried" with "tired," isn't that telling?) everything to keep from getting to the crying-it-out method of sleep training. I'm talking everything. When Ian was about 15 months old, I kept a journal of what pajamas he would wear and how he slept in each pair. And what exactly we did in the way of bedtime routines on nights he slept well. What he ate the days he slept well, what order we went about our day, how long his nap was, etc.

I made myself crazy trying to "figure it out" and I still ended up rocking him for hours on end. I think we own every single book written on infant/toddler sleep and I've read every page of them all. One night, about a month after Aaron was born, right around 19 months old, we just could not take holding Ian in 4 hour shifts all night long anymore and we had to let him cry. It was the best thing we've ever done for him. The first night was horrible. He cried for an hour and 45 min, and we checked on him every 10 or so. But in less than a week he was sleeping through the night and going to bed without being rocked to sleep. An entirely new bedtime routine developed and we were all sleeping better, feeling better, loving each other a little more.

Regretfully, Aaron was born a crappy sleeper too, and for 17 months we have done the same things as we did to get Ian to sleep, knowing from experience that the day would come when we had to sleep train. Nobody wants to do it. For us, it is a decision made out of desperation after months of consideration and trying other no-cry methods. No-cry methods don't work in this house. For whatever reason our children suck at sleeping. I'm not entirely convinced it isn't something I did along the way to make them that way, but I'm also not entirely convinced it is.

It has been even more difficult for me to make the final decision to sleep train with Aaron because of his health problems. It just breaks my heart to let him cry even for one second because he's been through so much already at just 18 months. Before he was even born I had a special place in my heart for this sweet boy who has only one kidney, breathing issues, asthma, allergies, has had pneumonia more times than I can even remember, has spent time in Children's hospital, has had surgery, is on 4 regular medications, etc. I just feel so bad for him. Letting him cry to sleep was the last thing I ever wanted to do because I don't want him to feel bad about anything. He's sick so much, the least I can do is hold him, right? That is my mother's guilt with Aaron. It really gets to me.

Anyway.

Two weeks ago, Aaron cried all night long unless I was bent over the crib rail so he could hold onto my arm while he slept. It was the last straw. His sleeping had been getting progressively worse for several weeks and all of a sudden he decided he just wasn't going to sleep anymore unless I was touching him. Aaron won't even accept Roger as a stand-in for mommy. Aaron wants only mommy in the night. (And most other times too.) I just can't do it any more... be up all night long and all day long, running after 2 crazy boys, keeping up with the house, the finances, the doctors appointments, the shopping, cooking, etc. Not without sleep. You just cannot do it without sleep. So I told him I loved him and I walked out the door. Night one of sleep training for dear Aaron. And it was heartwrenching, just like it was with Ian. My only comfort this time was that we'd already been down this road before with Ian...with a positive outcome. We went into it knowing Aaron was going to be a tougher nut to crack and we were not expecting any overnight miracles. But the one thing we knew is that he was going to benefit from learning to sleep on his own... and we were too.

Fastforward 2 weeks. (Two weeks with a lot of crying, a lot of praying, a lot of lying awake in bed listening to my sweet baby cry over the monitor.)

No crying from Aaron at bedtime tonight! Like the good old days, in bed drowsy but awake, told him I loved him, patted him, he turned over and went to sleep.

Uhm. Awesome.

I'm certain it means nothing for the middle of the night, which we're still struggling with (although it IS getting better... slowly), but I'm seriously encouraged by the return to (mostly) happy bedtimes.

Please take a moment, if you would, to send up a little prayer of thanksgiving for this small victory. And go ahead, while you're at it, and ask for continued comfort for Aaron during the night and at naptime, and continued strength for his parents during those times as well.

In other news:

Today we cleaned our garage. It took 2 hours. By the time we were done I was having major Braxton Hicks contractions. We had a house showing at 3:00 and we really wanted to make the house shine since it was our first Saturday request since like October and we had lots of time to do it... but I had to sit down and drink water and fold laundry for about 45 min before the CX subsided. It kinda scared me.

So most of the hard housework (cleaning floors, etc.) fell on Roger today. He didn't really appreciate it when I apologized for not being able to do more and then reminded him he was *partially* responsible for the problem I had today. I've also had really yucky sciatic nerve pain on my left side today and have been pretty much "walrussy" all day. It's too early to start feeling like a beached whale. I will not succumb. I will not waddle until at least 34 weeks. Ha ha.

The boys only had car naps when we left at 2:45 and we drove around the city for a little while looking at the flowering spring trees and tulips, down to the South Side and then the Hofbrauhaus for dinner. We even got dessert. The Apple Streudel was delicious. Then we walked around the little "crafty craftsmen" festival they were having on the South Side... the boys danced to the live music and made everyone around us smile and giggle, with their electric air guitar playing and headbanging. (Seriously, where did they learn that?!)

I bought some organic goat milk and almond soap from a girl with a booth who lives on the North Side and makes the soap in her garage. LOVE small, local businesses like that. The cake of soap was $4 and if I like it, I will definitely start buying it from her!

Home to a clean house and this awesome bedtime!

I'm in a lovely mood! Exhausted, but very happy.

Adventurous Eating

We have never forced our kids to eat anything, really, but we've offered and encouraged adventurous eating. If we're eating it, we offer a taste to the boys. Sometimes they'll try it, sometimes they won't. Most of the time, when they DO try it... they find they like it.

Ian's favorite food right now is Asparagus.

When we go to the store, his first question is can we buy fruit? I *always* let him. I guide him to a "good" one for our house for that day and he picks which he wants and we put it in the cart. Then we move on to the veggies and he picks one of those. A couple weeks ago, he had a huge tantrum because I wouldn't buy carrots. We already had carrots at home, but that didn't matter, he wanted them. (Don't worry, the tantrum stopped when we got to the bakery and he got his free cookie.)

Yesterday, we were out and about and had lunch at a little (read: 5 tables) restaurant called Kous Kous Cafe. It is Morrocan cuisine. First, Roger ordered the mint tea, served over ice. Ian tried and liked it. Next came Roger's soup: harira. Aaron asked for a taste and then proceeded to finish Roger's bowl for his lunch.



Ian had several bites of my side salad, with lemon mint dressing. He was tired, though, and didn't eat much...sure did enjoy the Izze Peach Soda, though!

A couple weeks ago, Ian & Aaron both ate their hearts out at Sushi Too. Aaron's favorite part, of course, was the miso soup with tofu & mushrooms. Ian ate some of grandpa's vegetable sushi, chicken katsu, soup, rice, steamed edamame, etc. It was probably a year ago that Ian ate his weight in tabbouleh at Aladdin's eatery.


Of course, just so you don't get the wrong idea... As I'm writing this, Ian & Aaron are charging through their Easter Baskets eating all things chocolatey & sugary.

Aaron already asked for his milk cup, though, and they'll beg for fruit at lunchtime.

Feeling the Love!

Lately we've been getting a relatively high volume of packages! Some are things we've ordered for ourselves (like Ian's new car seat, courtesy of Roger's car getting smashed), but most of them are completely unexpected gifts!

We're being SHOWERED with the love of our friends and family and I have to tell you, it is NICE! We've had a rough couple of months and several disappointments and disasters (the gutter/fascia ripping of the side of our house, Roger's car getting smashed, Aaron's health, our house not selling yet, etc.) and I am ever so thankful for these random gifts that are timed perfectly to keep our spirits up!

Thanks so much to all of you! (You know who you are.) I'm trying, really trying to get thank you notes written and mailed, so bear with me. They're coming.

Today's completely unexpected, completely delightful gift?

Some sweet pink stuff for Little Miss! Thank you Rachel, Brian, & Chloe for celebrating all things girlie with us!

Cheese!

Aaron almost never willingly looks at the camera to smile, so I was pretty happy to have him do it today while we were outside playing! By the way, it was 70 degrees and nothing but sunshine both yesterday and today. We could get used that this kind of weather. Hard to believe that just a short month ago we were buried under several feet of snow. I LOVE SPRING! I can't wait for the daffodils to start blooming!

Random News

• I had a doctor's appointment this morning. Little Miss is growing just fine. Her heart rate was 155bpm, my blood pressure was 115/69 (which is what happens when you are kid & caffeine free for the morning), only gained a pound (so, 2 so far) and everything is right on track.

• We'll be having another ultrasound in a couple of weeks because my OB is cool like that. He believes peace of mind is priceless for parents who have had trouble in previous pregnancies. So we'll get another peek at Little Miss!
  

• Dr. S. was grinning ear to ear with the news that baby is a girl and moreover that the kidneys are perfectly normal. He is truly a caring doctor. I happen to love him for his excellent care.

• Aaron is weaned. He skipped bedtime nunnies on Saturday because he was so tired when Roger & I got home from our night out w/o the kids. He was exhausted again on Sunday from a short nap day & skipped again. So I just went with it and intentionally we've skipped bedtime nunnies ever since.

• Aaron currently has a sinus infection for which he is on Augmentin. He's also still coughing from the cold Ian lovingly shared 2 weeks ago. Aaron's pediatrician called it "an asthma cough" and said if it wasn't better by Friday we'd have to do some oral prednisone to help him recover. It isn't better, but I really don't want to do prednisone. I think I'll give it until Monday.
  

• Ian is being his cute self. I don't really have much of an update for him!
  

• We're celebrating the birth of a sweet baby girl to our friends the Luskys. And news that practically everyone we know having babies this summer/fall are having girls! I seriously know about 20 women who are expecting right now and only one of them is expecting a boy. It's the summer of baby girls, I believe. Good thing, too, because the girl clothes right now are so stinkin' cute. Feel free to buy anything you see and send it to us. (Ha ha!) We also just found out that the Pipers are having TWIN GIRLS! Really, REALLY wonderful news this week on many fronts.

• *update* I just saw our neighbor out and she had a nice little baby bump! We've been cooped up all winter and hadn't seen much of them. She's due the same day as me (weird). They're having their 2nd baby, and it's a boy. I'm just amazed at all the new life around us!

• In not-so-wonderful news, Roger got rear-ended on the Parkway West last Friday (he is fine, never felt any ill-effects from it physically) and his car is crumpled. Apparently NOT unfixable, however, and for that we are grateful. We had just paid off the Camry in August and were really loving not having any car payments. We're also getting a new car seat out of the deal, too, because once a car seat has been in an accident, you really shouldn't use it anymore. The insurance will pay for its replacement. Love that.
  

Sometimes it Pays to Pay

I'm not one to jump right to hiring help for house things. I don't like to pay people to do things I can do myself. But you saw what our driveway looked like after the recent storms. There was just no way for me to do it. Or Roger. Or anyone who only had a shovel.

So I turned (on the suggestion of a friend) to Craig's List. I love Craig's List, but honestly, hadn't even thought about it for finding a person to come clean our driveway. I had called a couple of landscapers/plowers and they all told me that due to the overwhelming demand, if I didn't already have a contract they couldn't help me. (That's not very good for business, in my opinion, but I guess I am not in the business so I don't know.)

Anyway, today a guy name Greg came to our house and snowblowed, shoveled, and salted our driveway! It was glorious (to me) to stand at the window and watch as someone else cleared all that crazy snow. It would've taken me days at the rate I was able to do it on my own (one shovelful a day, approximately.)

In the end, he asked for $35 and I gladly handed him a check. It was great. And I'm so glad I did it.

(In case you are wondering... Roger was fully supportive of my decision to pay to have someone come. I guess he didn't really have a choice though, since I didn't tell him before the guy was already working. :-) I'm glad he didn't mind. I guess it can be a Valentine to each other!)

I'd also like to add, that I could see/hear at least 3 neighbors blowing their own driveways today. It makes me really sad to know that nobody has offered to help us. It is obvious (to anyone who regularly sees who is going and coming from our house, like neighbors...) that Roger is not here right now. His car was parked in the snow-filled driveway for a week and then moved to the street where it has been since Sunday. I've only left the house once since Sunday. Why wouldn't anyone offer to help us? If I had a snow blower and my neighbor was pregnant and had 2 little kids and her driveway wasn't shoveled, I'd help her. I'd have done it long before now. Did you know that when I was 7.5 months pregnant with Ian (visibly, obviously pregnant) we had a decent sized snowfall and I was out shoveling all by myself. My neighbor across the street blew off his whole driveway and then got in his car to go somewhere, he intentionally turned the wrong way and went around the cul-de-sac so he could stop in front of my driveway and say, "You know, You really shouldn't be shoveling in your condition." He never offered to help. He is 2 houses down from the lady who lets her dog dump in the end of our driveway any time she can.

I really don't like this neighborhood at all. Hopefully nobody looking to buy our house reads this.

Lesson Learned: Teaching your kids to throw things away

We think it is super that Aaron will take diapers to the garbage can. And banana peels. And other miscellaneous things we ask him to take there.

But, we've learned a valuable lesson. Children don't possess the ability to know what is garbage and what isn't.

Aaron now likes to throw EVERYTHING he is "done" with into the garbage. And since we clapped and cheered for him for putting diapers in there, he thinks it is a game.

Last night, Aaron was happily playing in the can cupboard in the kitchen. At least that's what we thought. I mean, we could hear him playing with the cans of beans and tomato sauce... Then Roger went to check on him... and discovered that Aaron was actually systematically removing all the cans from the can cupboard and putting them into the garbage can.

This morning, I pulled out a cast-off sippy cup, spoon, and plate out of there.

And it has become my habit of checking the garbage can every time we walk past it... we're also now securing the garbage can on top of the counter. Kinda gross, but necessary while we wait for this phase to pass.